Tape cassette: Pünktchen Pünktchen

Posted on January 27, 2011 by accidentallyantique

Tape cassette: Pünktchen Pünktchen - Deutsch Ist International. Tape shows picture of grim Europeans singing.

This tape cassette may feature grimly-smiling Western Europeans, but the solid nature of its font betrays its communist origins. Beloved by the wife of Chairman Mao, this cassette was played at official functions and gatherings throughout the course of China’s communist revolution. As the starving, poverty-stricken Chinese people watched campaigns like The Great Leap Forward and The Cultural Revolution devastate their people and their deep and rich history, Mao would dance to the frenetic sound of Europop. Such is the way of the world.

Value: ¥100k

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Red and white training shoe

Posted on January 26, 2011 by accidentallyantique

Dirty red and white canvas trainer

I very nearly felt bad about posting later than usual, but then I remembered I have this stunning artifact to placate you all with. This remarkable piece of footwear was worn by American president Richard Nixon the day he was informed that five men had been arrested for breaking into the Democratic National Committee headquarters at the Watergate complex. On 17th June, 1972, Nixon was enjoying an iced tea liberally laced with his favourite combination of ecstasy and absinthe when a Whitehouse official informed him of the arrests. The shoes still show traces of his reaction to this news.

Value estimated at $125k.

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RESCUED: Future Technology – Chappell recorded music library

Posted on January 25, 2011 by accidentallyantique

CD of stock music calked Future Technology - Chappell recorded music library

On first sight, this old CD would appear to be a simple library of “technology” sounds to be played as accompaniment to appalling low-budget films about “the future”, as perceived by annoying drama students marching around abandoned warehouses dressed in tin foil.

However, in truth it is the result of years of high-level research and the completion of what could crudely be labelled a time machine. American scientists on the military base at Roswell managed in 1956 to delve into the time space continuum to make this recording. They appeared again in 1998, ran into the Chappell studios and put their recordings into the hands of a bemused sound engineer before collapsing into piles of dust. These were then put onto CD and sold on the open market, nobody realising their true value until now.

Value unknown: item seized by government officials.

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Shrunken apple on saucer wearing hat

Posted on January 24, 2011 by accidentallyantique

Rotting apple with face drawn on it wearing hat and sitting on saucer

This beautiful – if intrinsically temporary – work of contemporary art was created by an unknown artist from West London. It was created to represent the hours wasted by the artist waiting at bus stops in the freezing cold wastelands of Acton. Best before May 2010.

Value: £300

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RESCUED: Little Tykes cassette player

Posted on January 21, 2011 by accidentallyantique

Broken Little Tykes cassette player

Although not worth as much as some of our other pieces, this child’s cassette player has a lot of potential as an investment. As a child growing up in a poor family in New York, little Stefani Joanne Angelina Germanotta would play songs by her favourite singers over and over again with this little cassette player.

Unfortunately, it is sadly damaged, and chews up tapes whilst emitting a clunking, oddly syncopated whining noise. We cannot know to what effect this affected the musical style of the artist now known to millions as Lady Gaga.

Valued at £50k upwards at auction.

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Tortoise reposing upon wooden box

Posted on January 20, 2011 by accidentallyantique

Ugly green and brown tortoise sitting on wooden box in shop window

Remarkably akin to a tacky lawn ornament sitting on top of a cheap “ethnic” wooden box made cheaply by starving Indian factory workers, this piece really has a truly unique history. For in actual fact, the box and the tortoise can never be separated. Legend has it that the tortoise was created by the spirit gods to guard the sacred scrolls kept within the box beneath, but nobody has yet managed to separate the two: or indeed to open the box.

Value: £1.5m

Posted in Boxes/containers, Ceramics | 1 Comment

Green ceramic walrus

Posted on January 19, 2011 by accidentallyantique

Badly taken photo of small green ceramic walrus

Innocent as it looks, this little walrus was actually the possession of renowned Classical and Romantic pianist and composer Ludwig van Beethoven. As he slowly grew increasingly deaf throughout his early 20s, it bore him great solace and comfort. He would carry it to German court functions in his pocket and stroke it gently whilst musing about his compositions. This habit is documented in the diary of Prince Nikolaus Esterhazy II:

19th March 1825: Encountered Beethoven at a card party last night. He was stroking his walrus in the corner again, humming Ode To Joy. All very well etc, but it scared the ladies somewhat.

Estimated value: £1.2m

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RESCUED: White Musk body lotion (used)

Posted on January 18, 2011 by accidentallyantique

Two travel-sized bottles of Body Shop White Musk body lotion, partly used

It is a source of constant amazement to find what one can pick up in charity shops. Our expert was speechless to discover that these incredibly precious items were being sold at a price which is beyond insulting to all concerned. In an attempt to educate charity shop assistants the world over, we plan on running a series called “RESCUED”, featuring items picked up in these places. When sold, the money made will be donated to The Agnes Guano Beer Appreciation Society.

These two items are of monumental significance, as we have confirmed that despite their humble appearance they were amongst the final possessions of Kurt Cobain – lead singer of grunge band Nirvana. After an early tour of Europe in 1989 (during which the band recorded a now-renowned live session at the BBC’s famous Maida Vale studios) Cobain developed a strong predilection for British cosmetics, particularly those with green credentials.

Approving of Kurt’s tendency towards frequent moisturisation, partner Courtney Love arranged for care packages to be sent from the UK. However, these were to be Mr. Cobain’s last indulgences, as he opened new bottles, squeezed just one handful of body lotion, moisturised thoroughly and then tragically took his own life.

Value estimated at over £300k per bottle at auction.

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Tape cassette: Valses Venezolanos

Posted on January 18, 2011 by accidentallyantique

Most rock fans know that before joining The Rolling Stones, music legend Sir Mick Jagger studied at the London School of Economics. This is indeed the case: but a lesser-known fact is that he took time out of his studies to travel the world, pausing to record World Music with local musicians under fake names. This is one of these exceedingly rare recordings. The rest have been destroyed by an underground movement of rock purists who wish to hide Jagger’s less than salubrious musical past.

Estimated value: Priceless.

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Unusual teacup and saucer

Posted on January 18, 2011 by accidentallyantique

There was a time when the world was a better place: a more genteel, elegant place, full of lace tablecloths, ironing boards and fish knives. In some places it still is. Skegness, for example, where we found this charming cup and saucer.

Now, it might look like a piece of tat purchased by a gullible, lonely old woman from The Radio Times, but don’t be fooled. This is actually part of a full set from the Regency period, somehow separated from its companions. Note the extra space on the saucer: it would be easy to assume this was used to hold foodstuffs such as petit fours and cucumber sandwiches. However, historians now believe this area was used for the preparation and temporary storage of hardcore drugs such as heroin, cocaine and ketamine during elegant tea parties held by members of the gentry.

Estimated value: £135,000 as part of a full set.

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